Sunday, 9 January 2011


It's been a few days, I was trying not to come on here before my exams, because it puts me off my revision too much...

But, there we go. I feel like I have done all the revision I can do, and all that is left to do is some MORE past papers, and MORE going over things I already know. I'm so bored.

But, I'm back at 52kg today. Which is good, because I'm least I have some reward.

Everything I have eaten has been purged from me, I'm pretty sure I'm addicted, but I don't care!
I feel better afterwards, so it's ok. But, it really fucking hurts when I smoke!! And, it's starting to not work as well, like it takes ten times as long and stuff, and hurts more. I know you're supposed to give yourself a break from it when this happens, but I don't want to.

I haven't eaten anything today, or done any exercise because I have had my head in the books, and I don't plan on keeping any calories in my body.

I'm going out next Saturday evening, so I would like to be 50kg by then. We can live in hope...

I would also like to thank all for the comments, and advice...I appreciate it very much!

I think I am kind of over him now...apart from the fact that I want to be with him, right now! I want to know what went wrong, I want to know why he doesn't like me...I want to know if he will have me back.
I just want to speak to him...see him...just be next to him.
I don't know why I feel like this, I don't love him.. I just really, really miss him.

I need to get out, right now. I need to be thin.
I keep doing this thing where I get my hands, and put them around my waist to see if they touch. They don't touch when I'm bloated, and it makes me makes me feel sick. When they do touch, it makes me happy... But then I want them to overlap!

I have also been drinking about 10-15 glasses of water a day... I get very thirsty!! But, does anyone else find that water makes their stomach rumble?? It's really annoying me.

*HUFF* I'm going to go do some more revision.... Stay strong all xx

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