Monday, 3 January 2011


So I was xontemplating whether it not to go out with the boyfriend, yesterday. So, I waited all day for him to contact me, and he never did. He seems fine with me, and then he doesn't text me. I had been so fucking hungry all week for him.

And all day today I ate and cried over him and ate and xried some more.

I dont get it, I didn't realise that I lied him this much. I just miss him...

The most annoying thing is, is that I was sort of over him after I never saw him for weeks, then he gets my hopes up again, to drop me back down to a new low.
I can't go back to him, but I want to.

He would like me if I was thin.

I did purge today, but not everything that I ate. So I can't begin to imagine how many calories I have eaten. More than my weeks worth perhaps! I have eaten so much chocolate and general carbohydrate it is unreal!

I want him back. I want him I like me, he made me feel anted, gave me a goal! I need him back. I wish I wasn't such a failure at everything I so. I'm so sorry about my rant... But I'm disgusting.

1 comment:

  1. First of all, you are NOT a failure and you are NOT disgusting.
    Second, I wish you could see you don't need this boy to like you. You shouldn't base your self-worth on his liking or not liking you. You are amazing withOUT him.