Wednesday, 4 January 2012

I don't even know what to do.

I love being with my boyfriend and everything, but I feel like I'm only going to his house all the time so that I can avoid eating. That's really bad. It's like I'm only with him for motivation.

Saying that, I have still devised a plan...

Have sex as much as possible, with me putting in the most effort, to lose as much weight as possible, as quickly as possible.

I feel so fat. When I'm at home I lose my control, and I hate that. I think I have made a negative association with food at my house. Anyway, I plan to remain out of the kitchen as much as possible. I have a bottle of squash up here, so I shall endeavor to only go downstairs in the morning, when I do not wish to eat anyway.

And, these weekly binges of about 1000 calories or less are getting ridiculous.. NO MORE.

Oh my God. His mum is a mental health nurse, and she has clocked on to my eating habits. She keeps mentioning it, and it's getting horribly uncomfortable. They're all "worried" about me. #fuckmylife

Anyway, I hope everyone is ok and everything. Sorry I haven't been on much.


  1. Thanks for the love on my blog, dear. I've felt before that I was using my boyfriend (when I had one) just to keep away from food; I knew I wouldn't binge around him. It's a crappy feeling. Wish I had some advice for you, but all I can really say is I understand and I've been there.

  2. Thanks for your comment! I really loved the part about working out what career you really want. I definitely am adding that to my list. :)
    Haha, I gotta say that I can identify with your current situation, and even if it's bad to say this, I like it. Good luck with your mum as well. At least if things get out of control, she will be there to really help you. Many girls don't have that.

  3. I'm this situation will work itself out, just hang in there.