I'll show him love-handles.

I will make him see that I can be thin.

What he likes about me

Last night he listed what he likes about me:

"you're gorgeous
You're good in bed
You're sexy
You have a brilliant bum
You have nice eyes
You have great legs
You have nice boobs
I like your love handles"

The whole list is based on appearance, for one.

Secondly, 'love handles'. Fucking love handles. He knows I'm fucking obsessed with my weight, he has seen my favourites on my computer. He told me I wasn't fat and that he'd tell me if I was... That's him telling me I'm fat, my view on love handles is that you have to be quite fucking large to have them,

He tells me he wants to marry me.. I don't think he does.

Day Five

Day Five:         Why do you want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?

I am losing weight for my boyfriend, to give him the girl he wants. Also, to fit into size 6 (UK) jeans, and be happy and confident.

I'm at his house now. We just had dinner, and I had about a handful of these little potato chunks and salad.

Not too many calories, but I can compensate this by eating very,very little for the next week!

Food.

I have eaten so much this week.

Monday I binged, really badly. Like around 2000 calories, and threw a lot up. Not enough.
Yesterday, I must have eaten around 500 calories - 600.
Today, I have eaten about 300 calories, and thrown quite a bit up, because I couldn't put my hands around my waist. MUST SMOKE AND DRINK MORE.

My boyfriend is back tomorrow, and I'm stopping at his. Fuck. Fatty.

I did a workout this morning, and walked to college, which is around 400-450 calories burnt. Still feel fat. Exercise makes me look like I've lost less weight than when I don't eat anything.

Salad (containing mostly lettuce) for dinner tomorrow, and I'll get one for friday too.


Day Four:          Your greatest fear about weight loss

My boyfriend finds out, and falls out of love with me, because I'm not the girl who he thought "didn't care about all that stuff".


Also, rejection letter from Oxford. My dreams are ruined. Fuck.

Naughty

I thought I'd start making the old blog look more presentable!

Have been eating less than 200 calories for about a week.

Felt shitty this morning and had a binge/purge session. Now I feel ill as fuck.


I won't be seeing my boyfriend until Friday because he has to go on Student Union training :( But this means I can exercise every night and eat like NOTHING and get away with it. Yesss!

He always has a go at me if I haven't eaten anything - but doesn't seem that concerned (let's be honest, it's not as if I'm skinny!)

Though, he did say when stoned the other night, "You're hip bones are digging into my back, you need to eat more, Emma."  I was happy.

Also, loving how smoking pot doesn't give me the munchies!
My boyfriend also mentioned the word "rape" when I was stoned, which put me on the path of a whitey. It was horrible. I couldn't stop thinking about it then, and the noises and voices were all really loud in my head.
Oh I love it when weed fucks with your brain. 




Day 3:  A picture of your thinspiration and the attractive parts of them.


Mary-Kate Olsen. Nuff said.



Her legs look fabulous in this picture. So much love for this girl. She is officially the greatest thinspo EVARRR!

This is my dreaaamm body. Never having to worry about clothing that is too small, because everything will fit your tiny body :D

Does he love me?

He's playing on his new X box game. Always.
He says he loves me, but I can't trust anyone. What's wrong with me?


Eaten under 100 today. Good times.

Gonna have to have sex tomorrow - I'm thinking of the calorie burn. It'll be every day until Sunday, I reckon.
I don't have to eat much at his house, so it's all good really.


Day two


How tall are you: 172cm
Do you like your height?:  No, I'd probably be skinnier if I was taller.

Ok, so my previous post hasn't said a lot!

Basically, I managed to get away with not eating ANYTHING for two days whilst I was at my boyfriends house. He never noticed until the Saturday morning, when he said, "Emma, I just realised you haven't eaten anything in 2 days, and you haven't said anything, you're not starving yourself are you."


I lied though, I told him that I just forgot about it, that I was too busy loving him to think about food.

He then said, "If you are, talk to me, or just stop because I don't want you to get hurt."

Oh like I don't want you to get hurt by taking some Class A drugs?

Double standards.

His family don't cook much, so they all live off cereal and sandwiches, and I was turning stuff down. Each day, he said that he would cook something for me, and to let him know when I felt hungry. Obviously, I didn't let him know!



However, I'm not stopping, I'm doing this for him anyway.

Thought I'd do the 30 day challenge, cause I have lost weight!!


Day one:               stats.

HW:   72kg
LW:    50kg
CW:    55kg
GW:    45kg
UGW: 40kg


My thighs are 3 inches bigger than the Superskinny girl on Supersize v Superskinny. She was 6 stone.. hopefully I'm getting there :/