Sunday, 8 July 2012

Where have I been?

It's been ages since I last logged on here! So, I thought I'd catch up.

I now weigh 46kg, so I've lost a considerable amount, but not enough.

I realise I want thinness, but not to look good. Losing weight makes me feel good. I bought some scales a month or so ago and there's nothing better than stepping on them and seeing weight loss. That's all I feel I have control of in my life and the only thing I'm good at.

I have finished my A Levels and am doing a Summer job in a factory, so getting some horrible exercise lifting and stuff which is killing me!!

Anyway, the depression that I forgot came with malnourishment is back, and is honestly making me feel like I  want to die. Every second of the day.
Still, the scales make me feel good about myself.

I do eat every day now, but not a lot, and I'm still losing because I'm not binge eating at all.

I'm also going to Turkey in 3 weeks with my boyfriend and his family, so that should be nice.

I don't have a lot to say. I know where everything comes from, problem wise, but I don't want to fix it.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is well.

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