Sunday 27 March 2011

Oh God.

I am on my first day of fasting after a 3-day binge :O

I ate around 2000 calories on thursday, 3000 on friday and 1500 yesterday. Today, I have consumed 0. I will be consuming no more - apart from sugar free juice and stuff like that.

I was so disgusted with myself, mostly because I'm 55kg AGAIN! I feel sick.

I'm going to do some yogalates later, and I have zumba tomorrow, and of course my daily 4.6 mile walk. I'm not eating either day. I can't afford to. If I could be 50kg by the end of the week, again, that would be excellent. But, 49kg would be better.

FATFATFATBITCH: how do you gain 5 kg in 3 days?

shit. I'm fat. Oh fuckfuckfuck. What will I wear to college tomorrow? Nothing will fit me -.-

I need to look like my sister. She's so skinny. I'm so fat. fatfatfatfatfatfatfat.

My plan: try and hold out a binge until saturday, if I make it until saturday, I won't want to spoil it by binging... therefore I will not binge at all next week.

It ruins everything, a binge does. I don't eat on Tuesday or Wednesday, then Thursday comes and I eat like a horse. Disgusting.

Anyway, I'm going to pity myself now. Staystrongxx

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