So, yesterday, I stayed at college until 8pm with Liam, his girlfriend, and a boy who apparently wants to go out with me (which would be nice, because he's lovely!). I got home, and had told my parents I got dinner whilst I was at college - though I'm pretty sure Liam saw the text whilst we were waiting for the train, and got suspicious (because he asked me what I was having for dinner - something he never asks me?).
Anyway, tonight I got back at 7pm, because we went to see King Lear for English Literature - which was brilliant, by the way! But, without even thinking about it, I told my mum I'd already eaten. I'm pretty sure she's suspicious, I can hear she and my dad whispering and stuff downstairs. Obviously, they are naturally suspicious because I've already had an eating disorder.
On the plus side, I have not purged since 4 weeks ago, I think. Also, I have seriously restricted my intake, hiding my food and eating only vegetables.
Does anyone know if vitamins cause weight gain? This concerns me, because I want to look healthy, and this is the only way.
So, I'm going out on a double date with this lad, Liam and his girlfriend next friday (well, I pissed Liam off tonight by not getting the train with him, and he hasn't text me back in tiiiiiiime, so I hope we can still go. I kind of blame Sally, because she doesn't like him, otherwise I would have waited.)
I can't wait....but am nervous. Oh shit, what if he thinks I'm too fat? Fuck. It's only a week away tomorrow, how can I drop to 45kg by then? Ugh, I'm still 51, by the way. FML -.-
Anyway, long story over...loveyouall :) xx
Hello! I haven't heard from you in like ever! Thought you dropped off the face of the planet. jk but it has felt like awhile.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with the restricting and such.
Great job on not purging for 4 weeks! That's a big accomplishment. =D
I hope you get the double date. I assure you you are not too fat. Your mind is telling you lies.
Keep fighting.