Tuesday, 23 August 2011

In relation to my previous post..

I went to the sexual health clinic - for those not in England, they offer free sti testing and contraception. The woman advised me that what happened to me was rape, as had a friend.
Thinking over everything, he was really violent and forced me to do stuff I wasn't allowed to say no to.

I won't go in to te details.

The doctor phoned the police, and they've examined me and taken a Written statement. They said it's up to me if I press charges. But, they said I should tell my mum.

The thing is that I don't know whether to proceed with a trial or not. Can I be responsible for ruining someone's life, no matter how much they've hurt me? Would I rather just forget about it, than have a trial continue for months, going over it all again and again? Or should I do this to protect any other people they may repeat this with? How could I possibly deal with the fear of letting people see me, or touch me - I never thought I'd be scared, but the doctor asked me to take off
My robe and wanted to see my vagina, but I was too scared to let him.

To add to it all, they came intoy work on Saturday, and gave me a nasty smile. They had no reason to be there other than for me, they'd never been on before And this made me scared.

So if you have any advice that would en great.

1 comment:

  1. Proceed with the trial. I dout you're the first person they've done this too. Its going to be hard having to be so open about it. but you're not just protecting others you're protecting yourself from the constant fear of will they do it to me again. all those questions will be put away once they are locked away. they reunied you're life. It wont ever be the same. Im glad you went to the police and Im glad u got tested for sti's. You're being super brave!