Sorry about the lame excuse for a blog title! I don't know if I mentioned but I wassuppose to be going out on a date this evening..
Well he cancelled because he has a lot of work to do - or that he thought about how fat I am now.
To be honest, I don't want to go. I'm too fat for a boyfriend. How am I supposed to be naked in front of a guy, when I can't bear to even be naked in front of a mirror? (sorry about the grotesque image!) plus, I'm pretty sure that I'm still not over my ex. I don't know but I think I am in love with him still. It's sad, because I didn't want to be. He was a bit of a dick. Like I keep looking through texts and stuff to see where I went wrong, and in my head I go over everything that I ever said or did that put him off me. I know the answer in my heart - he touched me, he felt my fat. That's what did it, I'm sure of it. He was fine until then. Then he stopped contacting me. I'll never ne happy without him - I just know I won't. I need him back. I need to be thin so that he'll Want me back.
Fuck sake. I'm going to be starving all through my exams, and I'm going to fucking fail as a result. Shit. My life is fucked. Shitshitshit.
But anyway, enough self pity for now. Bye bye xx
Response to previous post: I almost failed a test. It makes you feel crappy so if you need to eat, then eat. Just eat healthy. Don't gorge on the foods that will do your mind (and body) no good.
ReplyDeleteThis post: I strongly doubt that your date cancelled because he thinks you're fat. If he did (not saying he did), then he's a serious dick.
As to your old boyfriend, if he left because he thought you were fat, again, he's a serious dick. If he didn't like you then, what will make him like you skinnier? Just saying that you shouldn't have to starve yourself for someone to like you. If you do, then obviously he isn't worth your time. You're better off without him or any guy who makes you feel you're not good enough or skinny enough or whatever. You are perfect just the way you are.
I hope you feel better. Remember to eat healthy for your exams so you'll do better. Eat brain food! jk but really. Good luck.