Friday, 17 February 2012

Self-pity, self-loathing and hate.

I have had my mother and boyfriend tell me how much I am like my dad today. My dad is the person who is tearing the family apart, so as you can imagine I have been crying. My boyfriend hasn't even hugged me. He said "I haven't pissed you off have I?" And that was it.

Thoughts right now: I have no-one; I genuinely want to die.

I see no point in eating, breathing, or anything anymore. I really don't. I feel like everyone hates me. I hate myself for being so self-pitying. I hate the fact that I have to come on here to express myself - a place where I know no-one, because there's absolutely no-one who will ever understand how I feel.

This is why people hate me once they get to know me.. I'm depressing, and horrible and a twat. I don't even like myself, so how can people ever like me?


  1. I feel the same way about myself sometimes too. I often tell new people that i meet that I'm a mean lil bitch and initially they laugh it off and then weeks later they tell me I was right. But it gets better. My best friend and are are lil twats together. Just hang in there, things will straighten out in time. And I doubt you and your father really have that much in common. Sometimes people say hurtful things just to be hurtful, not because they're true.

  2. “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe