Wednesday, 15 February 2012

HA! Love!

So, my boyfriend tells me he 'loves me' and wants me to be 'healthy', but I don't eat for two days at his house, and he says absolutely nothing. In fact, it's been four days. I'm surviving off tea, I'm getting stupidly dizzy when I stand up, and out of pure spite I'm saying nothing.

Yesterday was valentine's day... not even a card, I forced him to buy me flowers. To add to it all, he said I might have to pay for my own cinema ticket so that he could buy shit loads of food. Nice... don't think about me though.

He asked me why I was getting cranky, and I apologised, to which he replied: "I'm used to it by now"... absolute bastard.

Clearly, he thinks I need to lose more weight.

I just want to scream at him and tell him the reason I'm so cranky is because YOU HAVEN'T FED ME IN DAYS YOU PRICK!

Haha, last night I had just fallen asleep, and he didn't leave me alone - trying to wake me up - until I woke and had sex with him... we'd already had sex and I was tired. It was horrible.

I feel like he's with me for sex, because he hadn't had any for months before. If I'd have made him wait ages, would he still be with me?

I might go home, but go to the gym every time I eat something - no matter what it is?

I wanna go home, but there's that temptation of food. I am literally using him, and telling him I love him for three reasons: a) at his house I don't have to eat, b) I don't think anyone will tell me they 'love me' ever again, and c) my father is an alcoholic and he says horrible things to my family when he's had a drink, and not being at home is how I get back at him.

Anyway, I'm gonna mooch around blogs and stuff, and then do some coursework.

1 comment:

  1. When I spend time with a significant other I'm usually the complete opposite. I want to eat everything around me because I feel confident. Maybe you'll have the same unfortunate affect when you're with someone who's nice?

    I'm sorry that your Valentine's Day was so horrible. ): Hopefully you'll soon be in a relationship where someone treats you right. I don't know if the guy you have now will ever wise up.