First day blogging:)

Hi there,

I'm new to this, obviously!!!

So, basically, I will give you some background information before anything else.

I had an ED last year, from Autumn-time, until January. Then, I got found out when I reached 50kg, and had to recover. Now, I have a new boyfriend, whose ex-girlfriends are all so pretty and skinny, and it's quite difficult to match up to them. So, here comes the relapse... but, I'm not bothered. I feel as though this is me, this is who I am meant to be. An ED gives me a goal in life, something to aim for. By the way, I'm on prettythin, so if anyone wants to contact me on there, then please say! So, here are my stats:

Height: 172cm
HW: 72kg
LW: 50kg
CW: 53kg
GW: 45kg
UGW: 40kg (let's hope less!!)
BMI: 17.9


Seriously, need to lose weight. I see my boyfriend once or twice a week, on weekends, because he works away. So, if I lose a kg per week I should be looking skinnier for him every time he sees me. I'm scared that he'll look elsewhere if I am fat.

The other day he told me that he would carry me, and I told him that I'd be too heavy, and he replied by looking at me with disbelief and saying "I don't think so!". That made me happy, but then I realised that he was probably thinking that he should keep me sweet, so that I would f*ck him.

By the way, we haven't actually done anything like that yet. He says he wants to take things slowly, probably because I am too fat at the moment for him to even look at naked, let alone touch. Seriously, it makes me want to cry!

I realise that this really f*cks up your perceptions of things, making my opinions unreliable to like everyone!! Just like in 'Rebecca', I don't know if you've read it, but everything she says seems to be unreliable. She sort of exaggerates everything, I'm pretty sure she was bipolar! But, yeah, I feel like her sometimes. Always trying to fit in, feeling sh*t, reading too much into things...etc. (I am relating myself to a fictional character...from the 1900s. I'm sorry!)

Still...I will make him want me. I will make sure that he's not too embarrassed to take me out.


He's worth it...